Hi Eric, Good first pass at the board. I think the issues that came up consistently was how you’ve marked camera moves and some issue with keeping scale consistent. Being inconsistent with scale is something to be avoided since it puts into question whether there’s been a camera move or if elements are coming closer or further to the camera. You’ve also indicated ‘wipes’ in multiple shots but I wonder if you meant it as a cut? Notes are below and I’ve uploaded a couple of pages with notes to clarify some sections. Your camera moves can be labelled more clearly. Please see edited pg 01 of your board to see how you should be marking your moves. Please make the adjustment on the rest of your camera moves. SC 01 PNL 01-02-03: As you’ll see, the camera move can always be found on the same panel. You have an extreme zoom so it’s good that you’ve split them into multiple panels, but in terms of your camera move markings, you should have the beginning and the end framing visible with arrows showing its direction.
SC01 PNL 01: If you have any notes on the scene, try to avoid writing inside of your panel unless necessary. Use the open space below the panel for your text. You want to make sure, unless unavoidable, your panel is as close to the final scene as possible. Unless you are adding labels or arrows, any text placed there is a distraction. I’ve left “edge of ice” since that’s the best place to put it in this instance. SC 01 PNL 02: Remember that the rectangles you are drawing for your moves is the actual framing. In this case, we’re using a traditional 16:9 film ratio. Your rectangle needs to match the scene precisely, so make sure you’re drawing the proper rectangle (in this case, you drew more of a square).
SC 01 PNL 03: The script says Copper looks around. It looks like Cooper brings his hand up to his head to have a look around. If that’s the case, mark that move or describe that detail in writing since its not in the script text. SC 01 PNL 04: I assumed the camera zoom ended in the previous panel since Cooper was isolated in the shot, but by labeling this as panel #4, it implies there’s no cut. How did we get from a mid shot of Cooper looking out to now having two characters on screen? You’ve described a camera rotation but there’s no indication of how that move happens (the diagram you’ve drawn only specifies it’s for panel 5-6). If this is a continuous camera move for all of scene 01, you need to be clearer. SC 01 PNL 06: I made a change in your description. A 180 degree camera rotation implies the camera is in place and turns on its own pivot. You need to specify that the camera actually moves around the actors. SC 01 PNL 06-07-08-09: Your characters keep changing in scale and shot composition. You go from an extreme long shot, then long shot. You’re indicating a camera move but there’s no framing to illustrate it. Does this move happen while Cooper slips backwards or when he gets kicked?
SC 02 PNL 01: How does the wipe happen? A wipe implies something “wipes” over the camera... what is actually wiping the camera... an actor? SC 02 PNL 02-03: There’s an issue with scale. The actors look bigger on screen than the previous panel. There seems to be some copy/pasted text that repeat itself accidentally (ex: cooper scrambles to his knees” is on page 4-5-6). SC 03 PNL 01: How is this a wipe transition? SC 04 PNL 01: Wipe? SC 04 PNL 02: The scale of the characters change here. What is the arrow indicating? Is it Coopers arm moving up or Dr Mann flying back? SC 05 PNL 01: How is this a wipe transition? Do you mean “cut” instead of wipe? SC 05 PNL 02: Make a diagram for this move. SC 06 PNL 01-02-03: Is this a wipe or a cut? Is there a zoom, are the characters moving towards the camera or are the drawings not consistent on scale? SC06 PNL 08: Show the first and end camera position.
SC 07 PNL 01: Cut? How does dr mann check the fractures in his helmet? Draw it out or describe the action. In the last panel, Cooper is falling backwards. Do we cut to him already on his knees/facing the floor or does he move into that position? SC 08 PNL 01: Cut? SC 08 PNL 02: What do you mean by “turn to over the shoulder?” SC 08 PNL 03: Cut? If it’s a cut, it should be marked as a new scene. Show the camera move. I can’t understand what is happening in this shot. Is he jumping on top or off a ledge? SC 09 PNL 01: Did he jump onto this ledge? The background isn’t clear enough for me to figure out where he’s coming from. SC 10 PNL 02-03-04: Is the pan happening with the full shot or are you zooming into the eyes and then panning and zooming out on the transmitter? Mark out the beginning/end framing so it’s clear. If you are zooming in to the eyes, then to the transmitter then zoom back out, it may be a jarring. Consider just panning over to the transmitter (no zoom) and have Cooper crawl back in frame. SC 10 PNL 02: Is dr mann doing something with his arms here? SC 12 PNL 04-05-06: Adjust the camera indication. It’s better to make the fade out obvious by dedicating a panel to it.
As I mentioned in my first note, there are sections of your board that needed proper camera indications. I believe i’ve flagged down most of those sections if not all. There are a few parts where you’ve written ‘wipe’ when it looks like there’s a cut. Be careful to keep your panels to the proper scale and framing when they happen within the scene as it can be confusing to read whether you meant to have the characters or camera moving in and out... or if you are cutting to another scene. Your sc/pnl numbering were off at times so keeping things consistent helps with the reading of the board. Nice job overall... i thought the close up fighting/wrestling scene had some nice shots.
Hi Eric,
ReplyDeleteGood first pass at the board. I think the issues that came up consistently was how you’ve marked camera moves and some issue with keeping scale consistent. Being inconsistent with scale is something to be avoided since it puts into question whether there’s been a camera move or if elements are coming closer or further to the camera. You’ve also indicated ‘wipes’ in multiple shots but I wonder if you meant it as a cut? Notes are below and I’ve uploaded a couple of pages with notes to clarify some sections.
Your camera moves can be labelled more clearly. Please see edited pg 01 of your board to see how you should be marking your moves. Please make the adjustment on the rest of your camera moves.
SC 01 PNL 01-02-03: As you’ll see, the camera move can always be found on the same panel. You have an extreme zoom so it’s good that you’ve split them into multiple panels, but in terms of your camera move markings, you should have the beginning and the end framing visible with arrows showing its direction.
SC01 PNL 01: If you have any notes on the scene, try to avoid writing inside of your panel unless necessary. Use the open space below the panel for your text. You want to make sure, unless unavoidable, your panel is as close to the final scene as possible. Unless you are adding labels or arrows, any text placed there is a distraction. I’ve left “edge of ice” since that’s the best place to put it in this instance.
SC 01 PNL 02: Remember that the rectangles you are drawing for your moves is the actual framing. In this case, we’re using a traditional 16:9 film ratio. Your rectangle needs to match the scene precisely, so make sure you’re drawing the proper rectangle (in this case, you drew more of a square).
SC 01 PNL 03: The script says Copper looks around. It looks like Cooper brings his hand up to his head to have a look around. If that’s the case, mark that move or describe that detail in writing since its not in the script text.
SC 01 PNL 04: I assumed the camera zoom ended in the previous panel since Cooper was isolated in the shot, but by labeling this as panel #4, it implies there’s no cut. How did we get from a mid shot of Cooper looking out to now having two characters on screen? You’ve described a camera rotation but there’s no indication of how that move happens (the diagram you’ve drawn only specifies it’s for panel 5-6). If this is a continuous camera move for all of scene 01, you need to be clearer.
SC 01 PNL 06: I made a change in your description. A 180 degree camera rotation implies the camera is in place and turns on its own pivot. You need to specify that the camera actually moves around the actors.
SC 01 PNL 06-07-08-09: Your characters keep changing in scale and shot composition. You go from an extreme long shot, then long shot. You’re indicating a camera move but there’s no framing to illustrate it. Does this move happen while Cooper slips backwards or when he gets kicked?
SC 02 PNL 01: How does the wipe happen? A wipe implies something “wipes” over the camera... what is actually wiping the camera... an actor?
SC 02 PNL 02-03: There’s an issue with scale. The actors look bigger on screen than the previous panel. There seems to be some copy/pasted text that repeat itself accidentally (ex:
cooper scrambles to his knees” is on page 4-5-6).
SC 03 PNL 01: How is this a wipe transition?
SC 04 PNL 01: Wipe?
SC 04 PNL 02: The scale of the characters change here. What is the arrow indicating? Is it Coopers arm moving up or Dr Mann flying back?
SC 05 PNL 01: How is this a wipe transition? Do you mean “cut” instead of wipe?
SC 05 PNL 02: Make a diagram for this move.
SC 06 PNL 01-02-03: Is this a wipe or a cut? Is there a zoom, are the characters moving towards the camera or are the drawings not consistent on scale?
SC06 PNL 08: Show the first and end camera position.
... Comments continued
ReplyDeleteSC 07 PNL 01: Cut? How does dr mann check the fractures in his helmet? Draw it out or describe the action. In the last panel, Cooper is falling backwards. Do we cut to him already on his knees/facing the floor or does he move into that position?
SC 08 PNL 01: Cut?
SC 08 PNL 02: What do you mean by “turn to over the shoulder?”
SC 08 PNL 03: Cut? If it’s a cut, it should be marked as a new scene. Show the camera move. I can’t understand what is happening in this shot. Is he jumping on top or off a ledge?
SC 09 PNL 01: Did he jump onto this ledge? The background isn’t clear enough for me to figure out where he’s coming from.
SC 10 PNL 02-03-04: Is the pan happening with the full shot or are you zooming into the eyes and then panning and zooming out on the transmitter? Mark out the beginning/end framing so it’s clear. If you are zooming in to the eyes, then to the transmitter then zoom back out, it may be a jarring. Consider just panning over to the transmitter (no zoom) and have Cooper crawl back in frame.
SC 10 PNL 02: Is dr mann doing something with his arms here?
SC 12 PNL 04-05-06: Adjust the camera indication. It’s better to make the fade out obvious by dedicating a panel to it.
Hi Eric,
ReplyDeleteAs I mentioned in my first note, there are sections of your board that needed proper camera indications. I believe i’ve flagged down most of those sections if not all. There are a few parts where you’ve written ‘wipe’ when it looks like there’s a cut. Be careful to keep your panels to the proper scale and framing when they happen within the scene as it can be confusing to read whether you meant to have the characters or camera moving in and out... or if you are cutting to another scene. Your sc/pnl numbering were off at times so keeping things consistent helps with the reading of the board. Nice job overall... i thought the close up fighting/wrestling scene had some nice shots.